Retrospection

I entered my college as I would always; the only difference was that this time some teachers were also waiting for me apart from my friends. Math's teacher stepped forward with a beaming face and embraced me like nobody had before in the entire college. As we separated, more hands approached and congratulating remarks greeted me. I had not witnessed anything of this sort before. I knew my heart beat was not normal. The principal, the accountant, students, everyone met me saying that It’s a priceless achievement and that I've brought a great amount of pride for this college. And finally I meet the lady who was on cloud 9, my Urdu teacher. Patently exuberant, she said to me the most satisfying and refreshing words I had heard in about 2 years.

"I cannot tell you how happy I am, getting a distinction is no child's play and it hasn't been done by any of our students, from O-Levels or from A-Levels. You are the 1^st one to do so and getting it in my subject makes me even more proud. Many congratulations and may Allah bless u always."

I didn't even know how to react fittingly; I was just a little more happier than I would be every time Roger Federer pocketed a Grand Slam. A form was then given to me which I happily filled and submitted.

I went home to tell my parents about it handing them the invitation card (for me and my family) to "Brilliance in Pakistan Awards" at Aiwan-e-Iqbal for all the distinction holders (in GCE O-Level and GCE A-Level) from Lahore and that precisely was the moment it had all happened for. The sparkle in their eyes, the uncontainable smile and effusive emotions were an alien sight. This was followed by calls to relatives and family friends, as one would expect and all my efforts to stop them from doing so ended in smoke. How would I know their feelings??

The atmosphere of the big day was thrilling. Ushers showed us the way to our seats. All parents were seated in a separate section while the students had a separate one in the same capacious hall. With palpitating heart, I listened to the instructions on when to leave the seat and which path to follow when my name would be called. Nerves played and I suddenly lost my confidence to a silly thought. "Everyone has a distinction in either Science subjects or mathematical ones. There are people with distinction in English, French, Business Studies to name a few while you have it in Urdu, a subject simpler and easier than all others". For some seconds which followed, I had ungratefully dubbed myself subordinate to all other distinction holders. It was highly likely that I would choke with unworthy and unjustified embarrassment when someone hammered it into my brain that subjects do not matter, what matters is that all of us are here for excelling in what we studied regardless of whether it was difficult or easy. Calling a subject easy or difficult is purely subjective. To stand where I was standing was only because Almighty Allah wanted me to. People spend their entire lives yearning for a proud moment of public acknowledgment and there I was on the brink of experiencing it. Confidence struck back and right then I heard my name getting announced.

As I walked down the passage leading to the stage, looking at the huge screen behind the stage made me smile. My picture and the details I had happily provided on the form were there including my "favourite saying" which read "As u sow so shall you reap". Amid an uproaring audience and a heartfelt round of applause I received the certificate of distinction from a higher official of Cambridge University (the name and post I didn't consider important to remember). Stepping down from the other end of the stage, I looked at my family whose expressions were that of pure pride, unadulterated joy with faces shinning like anything. It was then when I admitted having achieved something extraordinary. The crowed didn’t stop clapping until I had taken a complete round of the hall and was back to my seat. It was incredible, more so for my parents whose exact feelings are ineffable.

I know now and I knew back then that distinctions and such honours cannot be aimed for. These are solely a gift from Allah Almighty and only come to those who are the chosen ones. I cherish this memory from 2005 the most because it gave my parents that delectable moment of elation which ALL parents dream of but only a handful get.

(Akif A Khan)